I was a late bloomer to the makeup world. Hell, I was just a late bloomer period. Anyone that went to high school with me can attest to that. In fact, I can still hear one boy in particular who shall remain namless (but has since gotten fat and bald), yelling to my college prep writing class, “Susie has noooo titties!” Thanks for that, dick face. Anyhow, the only makeup I wore through all of high school was tinted chap stick by Bonne Bell. I think I got into mascara my freshman year of college. But that was pretty much the extent of it until I hit my twenties. Now that I am well into my 30’s I have become obsessed with not just makeup but skin care products. In high school and college I was in marching band which meant HOURS in the sun and I never applied sunscreen as much as I should have. In 2004, I got stage II melanoma on my back and now have a nice 5 inch scar to remind me to just.wear.the.fucking.sunscreen. It’s the one thing I force upon my young daughters. Anyhow, take my advice and take care of your skin now, because it gets to be too hard to turn back the clock once enough the damage has been done! Just ask dick face! And in the mean time, check out some of my all time favorite products!

1. I tend not to use anything under SPF 30, and I particularly love Lancome’s Bienfait products. Try their Bienfait UV SPF 50 Super Fluid Facial Sunscreen.

2. I don’t always use a primer, because let’s face it, I have two young kids and no one has time for that shit. But on date nights or girls night out when I want my makeup to stay, I prime my face with this. Becca Primer. Bonus is it smells like citrus.

3. I’m not big on foundation or concealer really, and I do think that since I’ve never slathered my face in foundation or concealer that it (alongside genetics…high five mom) is why my complexion has always been pretty clear. But I do like to use a super affordable concealer stick that I rub under my eyes and under my nose since it’s always red from me constantly blowing it. (That’s what she said.) I’ve used this one since college and while I know there are a ton of nicer ones out there, this one is still my favorite and you can’t beat the price. Covergirl Smoothers Concealer.

4. On the days I have crazy skin and do need a little foundation, I dampen a beauty sponge and use it to apply it so that it goes on smoothly. Leave the frosted cake look for your mother fucking cupcakes! Put a dollop of your favorite foundation on the back of your hand, dab it with a sponge, and apply. I like this sponge: Morphe Highlight and Contour Sponge.

5. I have really dry skin (as I assume many people living in Colorado do) so I seldom use powder. But when I know I’ll be sweating a little or if I am in a more humid climate, I like to set my foundation with a little MAC Mineralize Skinfinish Natural Face Powder.

6. When my daughter, Lila was in preschool, I met another mom at drop-off and we instantly hit it off. She is my dear friend, Katie, and gave me the best compliment of all at drop-off one day. She asked what kind of makeup I was wearing because I looked dewy/glowy. So I shared my secret. It’s this Loreal True Match Lumi Glotion.

7. And if you want yet another kick of glow, swipe on one of these on the tops of your cheeks and blend in with your fingers. Becca Skin Love Glow Glaze Stick or Milk Makeup Highlighter.

8. Bronzer! Probably my favorite beauty product besides mascara. You can’t beat the price or the scent on this Physician’s Formula Butter Bronzer. I use the one just called “bronze” but they have a ton of great shades and it smells like a mix of coconut and sunscreen to me which just reminds me of summer!

9. For a higher end bronzer, I was always ride or die for Estee Lauder’s Bronze Goddess because it reminds me of my mom. But I also love Marc Jacobs O!Mega Bronzer Coconut Perfect Tan.

10. Highlighters are my jam, but when you’re 36 and have some wrinkles, it’s best to use it with a light touch. I don’t want to look like a stripper or a woman who is unaware of just how old she is. So my favorite is this very subtle one by Hourglass. It gives you that “glow from within” look and is subtle but so beautiful: Hourglass Ambient Lighting Powder.

11. Eye Shadow: While there are ton of good ones out there (and one of my personal formulas is Morphe’s,) I love this one in particular by MAC. Mac cosmetics eye shadow in the shade Naked Lunch.

12. I have one more “glowy” trick up my sleeve for the lazy mom. 75% of the time I don’t wear eye shadow, and instead swipe on eye vinyl. It started when I saw “The Sweetest Thing” starring Cameron Diaz. (I love this movie because it’s funny and disgusting, just like my cousin, Mary and I.) Her eyes always looked glossy but not glittery and I was on the quest from then on to find a product that would give that affect. My favorite is Milk Eye Vinyl in the color Bridge. It comes with a sponge applicator, but sometimes using just your fingers to swipe it works best. It took me a few uses to get the hang of the right amount to apply so be patient. I don’t use a primer or anything underneath it because, as I said, lazy mom, but you certainly can! You can also swipe it over eye shadow to gloss out your look.

13. Eye liner is another cosmetic I have never been taken with. Maybe it’s because so many girls in high school would rim their entire eyes in black kohl liner and it made their eyes look super squinty and small. Or maybe I’m jut an asshole. (Probably this one.) But if you just have to have your eyeliner, I like this one by MAC. MAC Stuido Chomagraphic Pencil. The allure to me is that it’s a nude color so if you get a little wild with it, it won’t give you raccoon eyes.

14. Mascara: I have somewhat long lashes but they are pretty wimpy/fine, so I like anything that boosts them up and lengthens them. My favorite regular mascara is Tarte’s Lights, Camera, Lashes mascara. However, when I’m in a rush and know that at the end of the day I want my face washing to go quickly, I use tubing mascara. The first time you wash a tubing mascara off, you will have a mini panic attack thinking that all of your lashes have fallen out and are washing down the drain. And then you’ll be writing hate mail to me in your head and blaming me for your problems, and neither one of us wants that. But I assure you, your lashes are fine. It’s just the fibers coming off of your lashes like little tubes. My favorite is Thrive Causmetics Liquid Lash Extension Mascara. I also love Thrive because they donate to different breast cancer charities.

15. Lip Gloss: There are a lot of good ones out there, but I love the Full on Plumping Lip Polish Gloss by Buxom. I like any lighter pink shades like “Sophia” or “Erica” or the clear ones for a simple, clean look.

16. Now, if you’re a “setting spray” kind of girl, my favorite is by Morphe. It comes out in a fine mist and is great to hold your makeup in place all day. Morphe Continuous Setting Mist

17. Eye Cream: I wish I had started using this sooner!! I’ve tried a lot of high end products, but this one my husband introduced me to! (Bonus points for Vince!) Kiehl’s Midnight Recovery Eye cream.

18. For nighttime, I look for products with hyaluronic acid, vitamin C, or retinols in them. There are tons on the market but some good brands o try are Peter Thomas Roth, Murad, and Drunk Elephant.

19. My friend, Jen introduced me to sheet masks when we were hosting her sister’s bachelorette party. I then introduced them to my husband, and while he may have rolled his eyes at first, he now loves them as much as I do. His favorite is this one: Egg Cream Mask Hydration. My favorite is the one Jen introduced me to that you can find at Target. It’s the Pacifica Stress Rehab Coconut and caffeine sheet mask.

Please let me know your tried and true products that you can’t live without!