I think I can speak for all of us when saying that this quarantine/covid shit can take it’s toll on us mentally AND physically. I have major respect for parents who both work full-time while still teaching their kids too. Just teaching my 6 year old seems like it takes up most of our day, which means my three year old has had to entertain herself. (Thank you Disney+). Luckily this Friday is the last day of school, and while pools and playgrounds are still closed (which is a total bummer as that’s how we spend our summer,) at least I can take “teaching first grade” off my resume. Anyhow, amidst all of the teaching, stressing, and not being able to blow off steam with our fellow man, it’s easy to see how the pounds can get packed on. But here is how I’ve been coping. And go gentle on me, as it was not easy to put up these “before photos”!

First you need a little background on me and my weight. One thing I need to be totally transparent with is that I tend to lose weight really fast when I am sad or stressed. When there is a death in the family, or when I am at odds with someone, whatever it may be, I completely lose my appetite. I can thank my mother for that, as she does the same thing. BUT, on the flip side, when I’m not sad and instead am either anxious or nervous, I eat everything in sight. During Christmas I was a bit stressed so I dropped some weight. Just so you know my baseline, I am 5’9 and generally hover around 128-130 lbs. At one point during Christmas time, I got to 122. NOT a good look for someone of my stature. Plus, I wasn’t working out AT ALL so I looked a little rough. Then I got happy again, then covid hit and I got super fucking anxious. My mother-in-law and Grandpa were both in the hospital with pneumonia and teaching my kids was my next priority, and all the anxiety kept piling on. So I started binge eating everything I could! Girl Scout cookies? Give me the whole damn box! Bread? Cheese? Fuck yeah! There’s no such thing as too many carbs! I was out of control!

When I was a freshman in college, I shit you not, I gained about 50 yes, that says FIFTY pounds. I was sitting on my ass, eating dorm food, and drinking beer with my roommate and her brother and all his college buddies most nights. I hadn’t joined band which is what kept me active (as silly as that sounds) through high school, and instead just sat around drinking and eating, and I was not working out. I came home for Christmas break that year and when my great-aunt saw me, she gave me a triple whammy “compliment.” She said, “You look good now that you’ve put on weight! You’re really filling out! Your face is nice and full!” HAHAHA! Amen for old ladies with no filter, who sometimes are the ones that force us to look ourselves in the mirror. God bless my mom who went about it a much gentler route. She bought me all new clothes a few sizes up from what I had been for Christmas, but didn’t say a word why. That’s one of the many things I love about my mom. Anyhow, it took me YEARS to lose that weight I gained in 2000. Really it took me 6 or 7 years to just drop it little by little the right way without starving myself, so I wish I could say that I lost it as fast as I gained it, but we all know it never works that way. (Hello pregnancy!) While this may seem irrelevant, I just want to make the point that I am no stranger to weight fluctuations.

Last May I took a photo of myself before I worked out in any fashion. I weighed 128 lbs. It’s the first photo you’ll see below. Please excuse that I had to black out my boobs. My bra was completely sheer and the point of this post is to show weight fluctuation, not my nipples. This photo kind of proves that even if the scale says 128, you can still look “skinny fat”. I had no tone, I weighed 7 lbs less than I do today. This morning I am at 135, which is the photo you’ll see on the right. My husband always told me to throw the scale away since I weigh myself everyday and lament over when that number goes up. I never believed he was onto something until I saw the difference in tone even if it meant I gained weight.

We’ve all handled quarantine differently. Since I am not out and about helping my kids’ classrooms, or visiting with my neighbors, or going out with friends, or even just walking around Target (my all-time favorite thing to do), I figured I needed to start working out harder. So when Winnie goes down for her nap, I have Lila spend that time doing her i-pad school work. (They are called i-ready lessons.) And I take that sweet time to myself to work out. I do 30-40 minute workouts, and they’re all through an app that I cast on a t.v. in our basement where we have a home gym. I want to give it another month working out hard on that app until I dive too far into it, but don’t fear, the secret will be out soon enough on the program I use. And I upped my protein. I’ve been a vegetarian since I was 6, so protein intake has always been a struggle for me. These days, the minute I’m done working out, I have a protein shake. There are three major ones I like, all for different reasons, and that will come in a future post as well. But for now, I guess my big point is, throw the scale away, or don’t solely use just that “number” as your only number you focus on. I’ve gained weight, but I’ve lost inches, gained energy, and gained muscle mass. The energy boost really is what I’ve appreciated the most. So if you are like me and get sooo in your head about what the scale says, do me a favor. Work out for a couple weeks, don’t weigh yourself and instead measure yourself. Measure your thighs, hips, arms, etc. and definitely take progress photos! I wish I had been doing that all along!! And sometimes the husband knows best – just throw that scale away!